I'm Thinkin On It

Someone dear said to me last night that it would be amazing if I did all the things I spontaneously think about doing. That the products of these ideas would be worthwhile. I don't know if that's true, but it made me think. Am I super lazy? (The answer to this is 'Yes'). I think the other half of the problem is that I don't believe it would be good, as I just stated above. What's my deal? Why don't I think I'm good at anything besides writing essays and droning in offices? Probably because I've never given myself a chance. And I'm lazy.

Seriously. I'm what I would call a 'pleasure seeker,' and I derive the most pleasure from interacting with my friends, which doesn't leave a lot of time for me to work on my personal pursuits, whatever those may be. So far all I do is read. But I think I've done enough reading now to start writing.

Another issue is that I don't usually generate ideas in isolation. I need to talk and ruminate and ramble with others to come to my ideas. Like last night I was arguing about how being bored could give you a rash, because stress can give you a rash, and you can get stressed out from boredom, so boredom is the root cause of the rash. Brian said this was like thinking you could pray yourself pregnant. Which gave me the idea to write a story about a teenage girl named Magdalena who is so bored that she decides to knock herself up. For entertainment. Then I decided I would write a short story every day of my unemployment, which is what started the conversation referred to in the initial thought of this post.

So now you see my process. I'm blogging because of a conversation, and I got a story idea from said conversation.

But maybe I will do more writing. I need to harness my willpower, my belief in myself, and the ability to be alone for more than an hour at a time.

Speaking of hanging out with yourself, I left the CC Club pretty early last night, biked home, and took a long bath. Then I finally hooked up my tv and dvd player and watched The Last Waltz from bed. God damn, that was awesome. So I had a pretty great date with myself. I also realized that I have a crush on Robbie Robertson and Rick Danko. And I LOVE Danko's voice. I had to watch the video to realize he sang 'It Makes No Difference,' which is an inherently sappy song, though it's so god damn sweet that you have to love it. I had a transcendental moment because of that song.

I put the record on, and wasn't really paying attention. I think I was sitting in the windowsill smoking and thinking to myself. Then I sort of spontaneously started crying, weeping actually, until I came to and realized it was the sound of the person's voice who was singing the song. That's when I fell in love with The Band.
Holy shit, what a bunch of amazing musicians. And they all have such incredibly diverse personalities, and each equally interesting. Also Van Morrison's performance is the bomb. He looks like this crazy, chubby little pip squeak next to Robertson and Danko, in a purple bodysuit thing with sparkles. Then he starts singing and you're like, 'Holy shit! Where is that coming from?' Then you realize it's fucking Van Morrison. Yow.

Also, I loved Ron Wood's appearance, along with Ringo Starr, for the finale. He looks like this big hawkish, cynical creep up there amisdt all love vibes being circulated by The Band and co. Very interesting.

Okay, enough ranting. Gotta get moving. Lots of social obligations to distract me from myself.