Introspection Fest!

I don't really think about myself all that much. That's not to say I lack self-interest, for I know I can be a bit cutthroat/self-preserving in certain ways (mostly relating to food, beer, and weed, and how I can get my hands on them). But I never really do all that much analysis. I simply lack the predilection for obsessive pondering.
Lately I've at least taken a passing fancy to considering what I am. I understand how I got this way, surely, but I can't seem to grasp what 'this way' is, and if it is good.
Being objective is extremely difficult. I vascilate between assuming my lack of self-knowledge and restraint lends me charm, in a sort of unbridled way. But then I wonder: am I loud, overbearing and obnoxious? I feel my more aggresive qualities are motivated soley towards sharing myself and drawing others out, but what if I'm just pushy? I suppose it doesn't matter, as it's gotten me some of the best, most loving and wonderful friends a person could dream of. Womanly women who lift me up into the outer limits of my brain, pull me down into the comfy nest of my heart and tummy, and jump headlong into untamed wilderness at my side. Manly men who expect nothing of me, require nothing, but are just there, ready to party, schmooze, cuddle, or just sit and stare. What is this, then? I do not ask any more delight, I swim in it as in a sea.
Should a person try to control themself? To mold themself into the most functional person they can be? Or should we just listen to my mom, and be what we are? I think I prefer the latter.
Another contradictory issue that wiggles around in the back of my mind is how my motivations are percieved. The funny thing is that I completely lack forethought in my general interactions. It's always seemed to me that people do certain actions in order to produce a certain response, as though they're thinking on two simultaneous plains while talking to someone or other. I just spew. I'm very bad at being manipulative (probably because I suck at lying), but I can be very persuasive (because I have sneaky logic). Or because I'm pushy.
But O please please just let me push you! I'll take you places and do things to you and knock you down while picking you up and then I'll love you till you sleep. All of you!